Will someone please answer Oberon's ad.... he will not leave me alone and it is tragically getting in the way of my napping.

Just to be clear I also helped Mommy do her push up thingies  it wasn't all Uffo.  I did my part by throwing up beside her.   She wasn't pleased with my help either.

I was helpin' Mommy today she was doing these push up thingies on the floor.   I kept putting my paw on her head and pushing down.  I don't know why she didn't appreciate my help.

All who can read this pleas help a kitten out and  post  my personal ad:

Teenaged male kitty looking for female companionship  to last a few minutes. Color, size, shape, or age does not matter only  interest  in a  young gray male cat,   many applications can be accepted.   HURRY  this is a limited time offer as mommy has a vet appointment  scheduled for next week.

The humans have let down their guard my plan  has worked!   Leave the socks alone for a month and they will forget to hide them...  They have and the socks are:

MINE MINE MINE ALL MINE!

ahem

last nights total 6 socks taken to the downstairs drop off.    I will stay on task through the weekend.

Why is daddy mad at me for drinking all of his coffee?  He wasn't drinking it.

Mommy got  the best stuff in this box today brought by the big white truck.   She took what she wanted and left the BEST stuff behind.   They came in a long string and when you jump on them they make a big popping sound.   I jump on them til the popping sound stopped and then I ripped it into pieces.  Now that it is no the floor and the popping has stopped and its in many piece and  its no fun.  Oh hey what's Uffo chasing?

I keep finding good spots in the grass to play "dig dig dig" and mommy keeps putting dog poo there. I don't like this game.  I will go way back in the woods where she can't do that any more.  Mommy ruins all my fun.

Olaf never eats his food, he only guards it.  Eventually he will have to pee and then I can steal it.
Maybe I should drink a lot of water and go in and out the door a few times to taunt him.

Mommy takes the hint then Iick the empty dog bowl across the floor in front of her.

I really must pick a spot to nap and stay there.  Every time I find a new place to nap mommy takes out the flashy thing.   Doesn't she understand a cat needs his beauty sleep?

I don't know why mommy won't let guard the dog door when all the other dogs are outside.  It is the most efficient way to  guard all the food.   I think I will sulk on the just washed couch cover.

 
I here by decree that humans make adequate chariots.

I would like to formally state that I do not steal pillows.  I am merely annexing them into the land of the cats where they rightfully belong.

Olaf is wrong about the netti pot thing...but the tongue piercing is pretty cool, I don't know why mommy wouldn't let me keep it.

Bark, bark, bark!  Porcupines, off of my lawn!  Bark! 

Huskies aren't so smart. 

Porcupine quills clean the sinuses better than a netti pot, trust me! It is Olaf approved.

Porcupines smell so tasty but I don't understand how they bite back so fast every time!?!

Mommy was standing in front of the black box and doing as it commands again today.   I did not bother trying to get a better look from the rafters this time.   I am wondering if I can use this to my advantage.......   stand on top of the black box and yell for treats.    This will require further investigation.